This list is a birthday wish list that will rock your world.

This is a “wish list” I found of someone that has a birthday that is coming up soon. I found it things listed so different I thought I you would want to see for yourself.


• Feed the hungry

• Heal the sick

• Give the homeless a home

• Bless the children

• Let everyone live in peace

• Bring home all the soldiers

 
Jesus

Employer changes benefits without telling Employee. Is that right?

Is is a legal and/or a moral obligation of an employer to notify an employee that the employer changed the employees benefits.    Here is the senerio; the employer sits down with the key employee over lunch and says that he is going to pu
rchase a disablity policy with a  benefit of $2000 per month for the employee as part of their compensation.   The employee acepts and ask to see the policy but years pass and never gets the policy.   The employee actually forgets that the the benefit is suppose to be $2000 and since the employer never presented him with anything in writing there is nothing to review.   Many years later the employee does become disabled and applies for the disablity and recieves a disability payment.  During the disablity the insurance carrier contacts the employee and in a phone conversation mentions that the intial policy was for $2000 benefit but was changed 3 months after the policy was taken out by the employer.   The reason stated was to "significantly reduce premium cost."   The employer never notified the employee nor even gave the employee the opportunity to even pay the difference in premium.  

Since then the employer fired the employee while the employer was recieving medical treatment and was unable to return to work full time stating undue hardship.   The employee has no desire to return now for moral and professional reasons.  

Would you do business with a company that treats its employees in this way?   Do you believe the employer has a moral obligation to notify the employee of the change of benefits?   Do you believe that the employer has a legal responsiblity to correct this?  

How many people do you think would come back and pay the money they owed?

This weekend I helped at a baseball tournament collect money at the gate. More than a dozen or so people did not have cash on them to pay the $5.00 entry fee. Some had a few bucks but not five dollars and since we did not take debit or credit there was no alternative. Since it was cold, I said go watch your kid play and I will trust you to come back later and pay me and I gave them a ticket and set them on their way. Some did give me the few bucks they had and all promised to return with the rest.




GUESS HOW MANY DID OUT OF THE 12 PEOPLE to PAY?



Many of you might think that maybe half came back and paid. Even 75%. But if you said 100% of them came back you would have been right. I even had one lady that was out of town, drove away, went to an ATM and then came back to pay me the additional $2 dollars she owed me.



I also have to add that I saw strangers offer to pay for people that they did not know and knew they were not going to get the money back.



It was truly a wonderful weekend to see honest, kind, caring people.

Turning point in our business. I can help you also!

Hiring John Erickson was one of the major turning points in our business," Atha says proudly. "John brought a new level of energy and marketing approach that helped propel us into new areas. John pursued the builder market very heavily." Perry Atha, Sec
PHiring John Erickson was one of the major turning points in our business," Atha says proudly. "John brought a new level of energy and marketing approach that helped propel us into new areas. John pursued the builder market very heavily." Perry Atha, Security Dealer Magazine, Dealer of the Year
Progress on the Horizon
by Laura Stepanek
December 1, 2004
www.jericksonconsulting.com

RESENT, APPRECIATED & REGRETED.

Resentment is running through my veins as I continue to think of the betrayal of what I thought was a good friend and once business partner.   I resent that I was a driving force in company but when I began to stumble with sickness it easier to cast me aside than it was to help me.   I resent that I gave more dedication and time to my company and career than I did to my young children and wife.   I resent that I am still fighting daily headaches and that I thought when I was told that I had a job for life that meant regardless.   I resent that I build the company from what was a trust fund hobby to a multimillion dollar company and then someone else gains the benefit.   I resent greed, selfishness, and liars.

I appreciate that I was given the opportunity to prove myself right out of college. That I was given the freedom and time to learn my profession, that I was able to make a very respectful income during the second half of my career which gave my family security.    I appreciated the people I worked with, specially the office help and installers.  They often were overlooked, ignored, and did not get their share of recognition.  I appreciated that I was given much lead way in creating and developing a successful, low budget marketing campaign.   That I further was able to instill my beliefs of quality and value on the company and its services.     Now realizing that I paid deeply with my health and that all my skills and efforts were often not acknowledged.  I truly was appreciative of all the customers, friends, and clients that I helped over the years. The relationships I developed with Realtors, Agents, and custom home builders.    I hope they know I was truly not selling them but trying to help them get the peace of mind and quality that they had asked for, being very grateful that many of them paid me the highest complement and repeated business with me over twenty plus years.

 

I regret that I was so blinded by my loyalty and trust that I did not want to see how misuse.  Not to mention that I regret that staff and installers were taken advantage of while others continued to perform poorly.   It is very regretful that I did not speak when the company continued to hire or even rehired people that were not qualified or that had behavior that was not becoming of a good business.   I regret that I that I thought I was family and not just an instrument of the corporation. Much like a battered wife, I was the last to see the truth.   I regret that I did speak up when management frequently lied to customers and employees both. I still think it is important to be truthful and honest.   I regret that when ownership went behind my back, taking a very hard worked client, that I did not run from the building to start my own company.   If I had not stood up and battled back I might still have my job today.   I now realize it is not always best to battle and not always best to bring the flaws of management to the owners attention.   You see, sometimes the owner does not want to know.  It is much easier to ignore than it is to take a proactive approach.  I regret that I left income behind when I was fired.  That I gave up the battle to gain peace.   Consumed with disbelief and poor health I thought everything would work out.   I regret that I took a man’s word and handshake as a binding contract.

I say these things now not to be vengeful or mean. In fact, I believe there is no need for me to be vengeful.  Since those who did wrong will someday gets what they deserve without me lifting a finger.   It is my sacred belief that what goes around does come around.    My story is unfortunately, yet it is not uncommon in the world of greed and corporate America and though we I cannot change the world by telling our story just maybe someone will benefit from hearing it. I do hope that others will learn from it and hopefully avoid the same outcome.  I close with the Serenity Prayer.   “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the COURAGE to change the things I can, and the WISDOM to know the difference.” 

Lyme Disease

I want to share another link.
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/johndaleerickson/mystory

It is my story about lyme disease. I want to share it not for pitty but to help others.
Recently, the Johnson County Sun Newspaper wrote several great articles on Lyme and how it is becomming an epidemic in Johnson County.
I wrote the author and the editor and reporter both contacted me. Hopefully, I can help someone else.

ALSO, TAKE NOTE THAT I AM NOW ON TWITTER.

Is paying it forward a fad?

It seems that you hear the phrase "paying it forward" on the news much more since the economy has been circling the drain.   Why can't it be a life choice and we do it whether we are doing good or not so good.  

I hope I am wrong but often wonder if the "media" is jumping on the pay it forward movement just to get ratings.   Let's pray I am wrong and they are just trying to shine a little sunshine in this world of constant POO. 

Confessions of an Alarm Dealer

Confessions of a Security Dealer

What Security companies do not want you to know?

1.       Your barber may have more regulations than your security installer.

That’s right many states don’t even require security companies to have a license, drug test, back ground check before they hire staff and installers. So, the person that cuts your hair has more state regulations and guidelines than your security dealer.   Legitimate dealers and alarm associations are self-regulating themselves and lobbying for standard guidelines nationwide.

Just because they say they are “background” checked does not mean they are.  It is a known practice of some dealers to do the minimum background check and to not do any drug testing.  Often the practice is to reduce cost as well as since skilled installers are often in short supply that a dealer has the unwritten policy of “don’t ask, don’t tell.”  

 

2.       Your installer may not be an employee of the company that sold you the system.

It is a common practice to hire a “subcontractor” to install the system.  Many subcontractors are self-employed and provide their own tools, vehicles, etc.   They can be compensated in two ways.  The first is the most common and the most hazardous in which an alarm company offers the installer a flat fee for installing the system.   For example, let’s say $200 for the installation of the system.   Although there are great subcontractors out there many have the philosophy that if it takes them 2 hours to install it. They made $100 per hour. Where as if it takes them 10 hours to install the system they made $20 hour, guess which one they choose the most often?

The other form is where a subcontractor is paid an hourly rate.  This practice is considered a cost saving practice that is often passed along in the sale.

 

3.       You may not own the system.

Many security companies, most national companies require a lengthy monitoring contract to be fulfilled before they will release the equipment to you.  To protect their investment in you they “electronically” lock the system so it cannot be programmed by any other company.  Also, read the fine print and see all the protection they have built into their contracts.   Don’t be fooled by local alarm providers saying they can be monitored by any security provider.  Although they may say it they often still use proprietary equipment and have “dealer” codes that have to be reprogrammed before the system can be serviced or monitored by others.

 

4.       The control panel or “brains” of the system is often installed next to the electrical panel.

Installers love to install next to the electrical panel since there is often a GFI outlet there and the phone lines come into the property at that location.  Burglars know this also.  So, they check out a property first and find the electrical meter on the home and then when they enter they go right to the “brains” and literally destroy it or just cut the wires.   A great security designer will continually move the alarm panels around on his designs.   This is often an irritation between the designer and the installer but is an additional level of security.  Inconsistency is security when others are predictably consistent.

 

 

 

5.       If you smash your “brains” your systems does not work.

“If I cut your head off will the rest of your body work?”   Nope!   “If I cut your arm off you will not like it at all but you can still function.” Right.  

 

6.       If you phone line is cut or down the system does NOT notify anyone including authorities.

Burglars don’t even have to cut the phone lines.  They just open the phone interface box and unplug the phone line.   If the box cannot be found, maybe you thought you’d out smart them and have it installed below ground.   They will just go to the phone “post” on the street and disabled it there.   

 

7.       If you invest in a phone back up, if the brains are damaged first the phone back up may not work.

That is right to reduce cost and the sales point the security company does not install a protective cabinet or a battery back-up.   Thus the phone back-up is exposed, often very near the “brains” and without its own battery back-up.   So, the battery back-up that is for the alarm panel itself is also the phone back-up.

 

8.       If you have digital phones in your home (often provided by a cable provider) then your alarm signals may not get through to the central station.

When you consider digital phone lines consider that your alarm panel is basically a modem that when the alarm goes “off” the modem dials out.   Digital phone lines prevent you from having a modem, or fax.  

 

9.       Most alarm providers DON’T monitor their own clients.

Many, but not all alarm companies monitor through a central station provider.  There are many types of central stations.   Questions to ask, is it local?  UL listed?  Who owns it?  Can I walk in and see it? 

 

10.   Not all monitoring is the same.

Many companies monitoring only “alarm activity” that is when the alarm goes off they activity is sent to the central station.  So, if there is no activity then you might be paying for service that you’re not getting.  For example, you sign up for monitoring, a month later, you change phone service but don’t test your alarm system.  Six months later the alarm goes off and no one called? You call them and ask why they have been charging you?  Answer you got what you paid for.

Other security providers offer alarm activity that “test” and reduces false alarms.   Make sure if you subscribe to such a company that they do contact you when you have an alarm.  Regardless if it is false or not.  If they don’t contact you the next day with a follow up then you’re paying for a service that you’re not getting.

 

11.   You can self monitor your alarm.

This is often not mention since alarm companies don’t make any revenue.  However, there are several alarm panels on the market that have the ability to text, email, and even phone a recorded message to you.   Note it is not legal to have an electronic device call 911 or the Police Station.

 

12.   99.5 percent of all alarms are FALSE.

The biggest false alarm is the end user causing their own false alarms; not knowing the code, password, or even not locking a door or window is a common false alarm.   Another reason for false alarms is quality of equipment and design.   Not all equipment is the same, for example, door contact can be installed in many different ways.  Using an oversized, embedded magnetic door contact often reduces false alarm potential drastically as well as enhances longevity if done properly.

 

13.   Often an “installers” code is installed so the alarm company can access the system through the backdoor.   This code is known throughout the company, if not the local industry, since it is often not changed.

In over 20 years of selling, designing and installing security I have seen companies not only use the same “installers” code but the same key to lock the metal alarm cabinets.

 

14.   Duress alarm codes are often also constant throughout a company and/or alarm panels.

Depending on the manufacture and the alarm provider the duress code is often pre-determine and is the same from property to property. 

 

15.   Monitoring over the INTERNET?

There are modules and alarm panels that have the ability to monitor an alarm panel over Internet Provider Service.   There are pro’s and con’s to this type of service.  Pro’s is it is instant. Con’s is it is often as reliable as the Internet Provider and these providers typically take their systems “offline” in the night hours to install upgrades and provide service.   Another con is that the central station has no way of confirming by land line if the alarm is false or not.  Thus, false alarm risk can increase.

 

16.   New construction installations are less expensive than retro fitting an alarm.

Often that is not the case at all.   The equipment costs are the same regardless of whether it is new construction or an existing property.     Labor can be more intense in a retrofit installation however it is typically about the same since in new construction you have repeated trips to the property to complete the system.  

 

17.   Pre-wiring a new construction property is a cost savings.

Without being a contradiction to the last question.  There are some benefits and savings to new constructions in the form that a security dealer can pre-wire your property for future

Technologies.  As well as placement of devices is more flexible.

 

18.   The cost of an alarm system is $199.00

According to the industries own trade journals and publications the average alarm system is about 15 devices and has a cost of about $1890.00

 

19.   You don’t need all those zones.

A sales person will tell you “you don’t need all those zones.”  A zone for this purpose is a security device such as a door, window, or detector.   To avoid service, false alarms, and/or maintenance troubles if every device has its own zone then the problem can be corrected or isolated.  Not to mention if in the event of an alarm you know exactly where the point of intrusion is!

 

20.   Wireless security is as good as hardwired security.

Often security providers offer wireless security devices since it requires less skilled labor to install and can be installed faster.   It does require a battery to be replaced frequently and is also more obtrusive and easier to vandalize/tamper with.  Hardwired security when done properly the wires are all hidden within the walls and can be wired so if tampered with the alarm panel will indicated a trouble condition.   Not to mention that hardwired is more esthetically satisfying and has increase longevity.

 

About the author:

 

Former Vice President and stock holder of Atronic Alarms Inc. in Overland Park, Kansas, John D. Erickson has designed, installed, sold, and  managed over 10,000 security, fire and home automation system in his twenty plus year career. 

 

John’s love for technology and passion for customer service had made him a natural fit for a growing security industry.   He continues today using his gifts of urgency, vision, and quality to help others protect the things they cannot replace.

 

Ask@johnthealarmguy.com

www.johnthealarmguy.com

www.jericksonconsulting.com

JUST SHOOT ME LIKE A HORSE

Just shoot me like a horse. That was the plea I kept begging my wife to grant me during the past two weeks I have been fighting a stomach virus that I would wish on to know one. On top of that I have had my normal constant 24/7 migraines with what I am guessing maybe 4 hours of headache free time during the last ten days. Not being new to pain and illness I thought for a moment that my guardian angels had final said “enough is enough, he has final done it.” You see I was what you my call an adventurous teenager always pushing the horizon of adventure. My mother tells her friends still that the local E.R. know us by first name. Later in life I was blindsided by these constant chronic headaches that have now been like a plague to me for twelve years. So, kidney stones, appendix, broken bones, all are just badges of honor for me. But combine the stomach virus from Hell and a migraine atop of it and you can shoot me like a horse.
Now that I have given you my state of mind I want to really tell you what is important and it is not my health update. Actually, if you continue to read this I am certain that you will not only identify with it but walk away thinking about it again and again.
During this entire time of illness I have been blessed, no showered with love, friendship, and generosity. However, I must again go back to one person. My spouse, my best friend, my love, my everything, my loving bride Janelle. When we married 20 years ago our vowels said to love, honor, obey, through sickness and health, through good times and bad. Well, if a spouse would get a medal like a solider does for bravery and going above the call of duty my wife would have the Congressional Medal of Honor if it was up to me. So, when you get home or were ever you go and you have time to sit with that one special person, you’re everything make sure they know that you think they should have the Congressional Medal of Honor too. Maybe more importantly let them know that you will do the same for them.
Finally, I also have realized that many of my friends, neighbors look at me and see what looks like a health, onry, normal pain in the butt John. Just being himself. But you cannot see fatigue sometimes. You cannot see headaches. You cannot see depression always. Just like they say on television, “Please don’t try this at home.” But if you went out to your garage and took the largest screw driver you had and jammed it as deep as you could into your brain. Now, leave it there. Some days, it really does not bother you much. Other days the weather bothers it, or you keep hitting it, or it seems like everyone that talks to you grabs it and gives it a good twist. That is the best I can do to describe a chronic migraine.
Now everyone has some sort of pain. Many of us have back, neck, head pain. You could have something more cancer, diabetes, or AIDS. It could even be depression or anxiety I not sure it matters what the pain is since we all live with pain and well deal with pain differently. The old faithful saying, “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” Have you ever stop to think about the person being a “jerk” might be actually having a bad day because his “screwdriver” has been twisted by everyone he saw today? Yeah, but he looked fine. Right? Well, who are we to say what is “fine.” So, maybe the next time someone goes flying by you in their car on the way home from work or is a jerk in the store. I even caught myself thinking, “I wonder if he is a kidney donor and he is rising to the hospital to save a person’s life.” Wow, would that be cool!
Just maybe if we gave each other a little slack the more often we would get slack back when we are the ones being the jerk! You may be surprised letting them off the hook may have let them coop with their pain one more day and it also has its own self-rewards. Sure, you’re going to let off a few real buttheads but in the long run does it really matter.

NORMA AT WESTLAKE

Kansas City at the Westlake hardware store on Sunday morning is the first time I met Norma.  Norma was standing in a full green winter coat, scarf, with matching purse and gloves.    Her actual height was approximately five foot but her presences was much grander that than.   Norma was standing at the checkout counter opening a box about the size of a shoe box to see how many tulip bulbs it had in it before she purchased it. 

 

I was standing behind her and in my typical ONRY mood I said, “now that you have opened it you must buy it.”   She turned to me and said, “I plan on it, just that a box of this size should more in it and you’re the man that helped me the other day with my car.”   I replied I did not recall that but try to help when I can.   She continued with the box while explaining that she buys the flowers and grows them to give to others.     During our conversation she mention that she needed help at her home and that her family was not nearby to help.  She was asking the clerk if they had someone that would wash her car, or clean the front porch at her house.    I gave her my home and cell phone number and name and told her to call me when she was ready for those projects and that I would either come do it myself or recruit family and friends to help.

 

We parted ways with her blessing me and putting my information neatly in her purse.

 

On the way out the several other people that were in the lines around the checkout counters stopped me to tell me that I was a “good” man.   My reply was that, “I did not do anything that you would not have done if you were next in line and would have heard her.”

 

My next stop that morning was at the Hen House just to grab milk and bread and few other essentials.  While in line I notices that the was a very  pregnant lady in line with a grocery cart half full of groceries and also a two year old little girl  with red hair that either was trying to help mom or wanted to eat everything in the cart.    Regardless, Mom eventually ended up holding the child on side since her other yet to be born child was taking up all the other space.   She continued to struggle to pick up each grocery item and then shift again to get the child back on her hip.    I was now paying and done with my shopping.    I put my cart aside and went back and knowing that a mother and/or a little girl was not going to let me hold her.  I just walked up, introduced myself to the little girl and started telling her about my little girl.   As, I continued telling her she held still for her mom and I was able to get all the groceries out of the basket.    We smiled at each other and she thanked me repeatedly as I walked off.

 

Each of these gestures took me less than ten minutes.  I not bragging, I just want you to pause and think about how you can change the outcome and the outlook of someone else’s day or problem with just a few moments of your time or kind words.    Now whether you voted for President Obama or not he is our President and he is telling us the truth.   We are in a mess; we will get out of this.   We cannot rely on the government to fix it all, and the fix is not going to be fast.    We must take some of the responsibility ourselves and we must do what is right, take responsibility.    If we start at the bottom and work our way up doing good, positive, small things they will eventually become habit.  If we all do our part we can change the tide this Tsunami of POO and make OUR land the great place it is and should be.     

What did you do?

I am curious, we all have had our moments of darkness throughout our lifes but when you had your moment of darkness were you a "giver" or a "taker?" 

Do you wish you would have been something else if you could do it over again? 

my daughter gave me her one wish

Tomorrow when you walk into the gym you will notice many unfamiliar faces full of optimism with their New Year resolution to get in shape. Several weeks from now when you walk in the gym many of those faces will unfortunately have gone. We all set goals that we don’t reach. During the past several years my doctor recommended that I keep a journal to help determine some of the factors that have been contributing to my constant migraines. The journal has however evolved into something more that hopefully is going to be something my kids are going to want to read some day. Just maybe it will help them understand what I was trying to teach them, trying to become, and wanting them to become. As you read my story, I hope it will inspire you to start a journal for your children or at the very least take the time to sit down with them and tell them who are you, what you believe it, and what you want for them. For the past twenty five years or so I have taken the week between Christmas and New Years to reflect on what I had accomplished in the past year and what I wanted to accomplish in the coming year. I then spent some time writing down a dozen or so defined goals for both my professional and personal life. It was important that the goals were in writing because I still believe that you must review them often to achieve them. More importantly it was critical that I shared my written goals with others. Since it was often critical that others reached their goals for me to reach mine. Over the years I did remarkably well at succeeding or surpassing my goals. Sometimes I wondered if I was being too easy on myself but when I did measure myself against my industry I always considered a top producer. About halfway through my career my body started to sending me little signs that it was not happy with me and the long hours and demands I had been putting on myself. My grandmother being part American Indian had told me often as a child “if you lay down you will die.” So, I would regularly continue to work even when I did not feel good. I can recall staying with my Great Aunt Dorothy and getting a fish hook stuck in my finger. When I pulled it out she said “Ah, you’re okay, there is no bone showing. Just let the dog lick it and let’s get back to fishing.” Being a hard worker had become my identity refusing to stop was just part of my work week. So I continued with my career but my body started to rebel, I began to journal when my migraines became even more frequent at the recommendation of a doctor. The purpose was to help the doctor determine if I was having “triggers” such as food, environment, or even stress. After the diagnosis of Chronic Lyme I continued to journal to help me understand all the meds, treatments, and different doctors I had seen. In the beginning I was having a lot of guilt for letting my family, my wife, and my company down since I was no longer a top performer and was not even there most of the time. Actually when I was there, I really was not, since I was often either in pain or sedated with some type of medication. I recall on time that I was sitting in the dark wishing I had a brain cancer just so the doctors could say we can operate and fix it or that it would be soon over. Don’t get me wrong it was not that I wanted my life to be over I just wanted to stop hurting all the people I so loved. So, after that I realized when someone told me about a man that was sitting in a hospital, looking out a window, and his wish was that all he had was Lyme and chronic Migraines. You see the doctors had told him to say goodbye to his family since he was not going to live out the day. After hearing that story I was determined not to feel sorry for myself again. My daughter is now in sixth grade, her entire life she has known me only as a migraine suffer. Her teacher had asked the entire class to write down on a piece of paper if they had one wish what they would want. You know the answers most kids wrote. My daughter wrote. “I wish dad did not have headaches.” When I heard that, I knew I could not any longer feel sorry for myself when I am so blessed to have someone spend their one wish on me. I am still journaling today, but now I try to journal so it is more like I am talking to my two kids Jesse and Hope. This is my journal entry for the year end. Dec 31th, 2008 Tuesday, the weather is warm for December and Hope you are in Topeka going to the zoo with Grandma for the tenth-thousand times which will be one of your favorite memories of your grandmother. We talked about this the other day how when you come home from grandma and grandpa’s the way your pillow smells like there house. It is a good smell…isn’t it? I don’t know why but whatever grandma makes, even toast always seems to taste better than if you made it yourself. Jesse you’re becoming a young man. You have a girl friend now. Be patient, I know you will make good decision, treat her with respect. It is an amazing time in your life…savors it. You’re starting to learn to drive, remember even though it seems like you are invincible. Please remember a car can and will kill you if you don’t respect it. Yes, I almost forgot DON’T do drugs! Finally, I will always be there. I am not expecting you to NOT have your moments of foolishness, but if since you have my DNA, you more than likely will, and when you do, don’t be afraid to call. I want you to know MOM and I will be there, no questions, no lecture, just be there. That goes for you too HOPE. Since you both tell me “I know, Dad. I know Dad” many times throughout the day, I’m guessing it is because you already have heard me say these things before. Indulge me, and hear them again. The best meals are home cooked meals at the kitchen table. Remember this before you start a fight, when there is a fight, both parties loose. Never question your mother, she is always right. When you take on a task let it be known that you gave it your all…holding nothing back. Be respectful and descent to everyone. Be safe, no parent ever should have to see their kids hurt or worse. Laugh at yourself. Watch out for each other you will know each other longer than anyone else on this earth. When you are alone and get those goose bumps on your arm don’t be afraid. It is only the guardian angel’s I have told you about don’t piss them off though they will save you many times throughout your life if you listen to them. Don’t wait tell tomorrow to see your family. When you think you’re going to quit, don’t, you can and you will. Go see your Grandparents. Don’t be afraid to try new foods-remember what I have told you. “It cannot kill you it can only make you sick.” After you have settled down, I hope you are lucky enough to have the unconditional love of a dog before you have children. Look out for Aunt Sue she is getting crazier as she ages. When you shake a person’s hand, look them in the eye, grab their hand first, firmly, and shake. Always, keep your word. Aunt Sue, don’t let her start a naked winter bowling league. Always do what is right even if it is not easy. Never let anyone hurt anyone. Be honest and truthful. Try something that your think you’re going to fail at. Taking risk is good. Travel often. Be a person of honor. Do something that makes you happy, the money will come when people see that your enjoy it. When you jump, close your eyes, cover up your private parts, and jump with both feet. Ignore stupid rude people; if you don’t then they will bring you down to their level. Make sure your life is full of quality and not full of quantity. If you’re going to make a foolish mistake, make it when you are young. Watch out for your neighbors. Never stop learning new things. Make sure you have your friends back. If someone doesn’t like your home—throw their ASS out! First loves fade but never go away. True Love is forever; look at your mother and me. She is more than I could have ever hoped or wished for. She is certainly more than I ever deserved. Live below your means. Jesse your eyes smile and they tell all your truest feelings. You were given a kind, old soul, and it has given you a passion inside you that will take you far in life. Share it with those you care about and do whatever will make you happy in life. You have many skills, warrior, lover, and comedian, the warrior in you; if let you use it carefully will let you become anything that you choose to become. The comedian will keep you from going crazy. Those you chose to share your heart with will truly be blessed since it is something you will only show to a few. Hope, you have not only been my “happy” thought but given the gift of being everyone’s “happy thought.” Just by walking into a room your simple presence can make people smile and feel good. Thrown in your laughter, smile and the bluest of eyes and the package are complete. Those that don’t know you will soon be surprised by your passion, intelligence and determination. You also possess the creativity of great artist as well as have the heart of a caretaker. Your life and thirst for knowledge and adventure will take you many places where you will share your happiness. Your mother and I thought we named you “Hope” but I believe that GOD already had your name picked before you were born. 2008, It was Nov. 2006 when I was diagnosis with LYME. As with any daily chronic experience you have good days and not so good days. I have learned alot and would like to continue to help others. Hopefully, my experience can help someone else. Please pass my information along to anyone that you believe that it could help.

Want to know why my daughter gave me her one wish?

 Tomorrow when you walk into the gym you will notice many unfamiliar faces full of optimism with their New Year resolution to get in shape.   Several weeks from now when you walk in the gym many of those faces will unfortunately have gone.

 We all set goals that we don’t reach.  During the past several years my doctor recommended that I keep a journal to help determine some of the factors that have been contributing to my constant migraines.   The journal has however evolved into something more that hopefully is going to be something my kids are going to want to read some day.   Just maybe it will help them understand what I was trying to teach them, trying to become, and wanting them to become.  

As you read my story, I hope it will inspire you to start a journal for your children or at the very least take the time to sit down with them and tell them who are you, what you believe it, and what you want for them.  

For the past twenty five years or so I have taken the week between Christmas and New Years to reflect on what I had accomplished in the past year and what I wanted to accomplish in the coming year.  I then spent some time writing down a dozen or so defined goals for both my professional and personal life.  It was important that the goals were in writing because I still believe that you must review them often to achieve them.   More importantly it was critical that I shared my written goals with others.    Since it was often critical that others reached their goals for me to reach mine.

Over the years I did remarkably well at succeeding or surpassing my goals.   Sometimes I wondered if I was being too easy on myself but when I did measure myself against my industry I always considered a top producer.  

About halfway through my career my body started to sending me little signs that it was not happy with me and the long hours and demands I had been putting on myself.   My grandmother being part American Indian had told me often as a child “if you lay down you will die.”  So, I would regularly continue to work even when I did not feel good.   I can recall staying with my Great Aunt Dorothy and getting a fish hook stuck in my finger.  When I pulled it out she said “Ah, you’re okay, there is no bone showing.  Just let the dog lick it and let’s get back to fishing.”    Being a hard worker had become my identity refusing to stop was just part of my work week.  

So I continued with my career but my body started to rebel, I began to journal when my migraines became even more frequent at the recommendation of a doctor.  The purpose was to help the doctor determine if I was having “triggers” such as food, environment, or even stress.     After the diagnosis of Chronic Lyme I continued to journal to help me understand all the meds, treatments, and different doctors I had seen.   In the beginning I was having a lot of guilt for letting my family, my wife, and my company down since I was no longer a top performer and was not even there most of the time.   Actually when I was there, I really was not, since I was often either in pain or sedated with some type of medication.   I recall on time that I was sitting in the dark wishing I had a brain cancer just so the doctors could say we can operate and fix it or that it would be soon over.   Don’t get me wrong it was not that I wanted my life to be over I just wanted to stop hurting all the people I so loved.   So, after that I realized when someone told me about a man that was sitting in a hospital, looking out a window, and his wish was that all he had was Lyme and chronic Migraines.  You see the doctors had told him to say goodbye to his family since he was not going to live out the day.    After hearing that story I was determined not to feel sorry for myself again.  

My daughter is now in sixth grade, her entire life she has known me only as a migraine suffer.  Her teacher had asked the entire class to write down on a piece of paper if they had one wish what they would want.   You know the answers most kids wrote.  My daughter wrote.  “I wish dad did not have headaches.”   When I heard that, I knew I could not any longer feel sorry for myself when I am so blessed to have someone spend their one wish on me.

I am still journaling today, but now I try to journal so it is more like I am talking to my two kids Jesse and Hope.   This is my journal entry for the year end.

 Dec 31^th, 2008

Tuesday, the weather is warm for December and Hope you are in Topeka going to the zoo with Grandma for the tenth-thousand times which will be one of your favorite memories of your grandmother.   We talked about this the other day how when you come home from grandma and grandpa’s the way your pillow smells like there house.  It is a good smell…isn’t it?   I don’t know why but whatever grandma makes, even toast always seems to taste better than if you made it yourself.   

Jesse you’re becoming a young man.  You have a girl friend now.  Be patient, I know you will make good decision, treat her with respect.   It is an amazing time in your life…savors it.

You’re starting to learn to drive, remember even though it seems like you are invincible.  Please remember a car can and will kill you if you don’t respect it.   Yes, I almost forgot DON’T do drugs! 

Finally, I will always be there.  I am not expecting you to NOT have your moments of foolishness, but if since you have my DNA, you more than likely will, and when you do, don’t be afraid to call.   I want you to know MOM and I will be there, no questions, no lecture, just be there.  That goes for you too HOPE.

Since you both tell me “I know, Dad.  I know Dad” many times throughout the day,   I’m guessing it is because you already have heard me say these things before.   Indulge me, and hear them again.

The best meals are home cooked meals at the kitchen table.   Remember this before you start a fight, when there is a fight, both parties loose.   Never question your mother, she is always right.   When you take on a task let it be known that you gave it your all…holding nothing back.  Be respectful and descent to everyone.  Be safe, no parent ever should have to see their kids hurt or worse.  Laugh at yourself.  Watch out for each other you will know each other longer than anyone else on this earth.   When you are alone and get those goose bumps on your arm don’t be afraid.  It is only the guardian angel’s I have told you about don’t piss them off though they will save you many times throughout your life if you listen to them.  Don’t wait tell tomorrow to see your family. When you think you’re going to quit, don’t, you can and you will.  Go see your Grandparents.  Don’t be afraid to try new foods-remember what I have told you. “It cannot kill you it can only make you sick.”  After you have settled down, I hope you are lucky enough to have the unconditional love of a dog before you have children.   Look out for Aunt Sue she is getting crazier as she ages.  When you shake a person’s hand, look them in the eye, grab their hand first, firmly, and shake.  Always, keep your word.  Aunt Sue, don’t let her start a naked winter bowling league.  Always do what is right even if it is not easy.  Never let anyone hurt anyone.  Be honest and truthful.  Try something that your think you’re going to fail at.   Taking risk is good.  Travel often.  Be a person of honor.  Do something that makes you happy, the money will come when people see that your enjoy it.

 

  When you jump, close your eyes, cover up your private parts, and jump with both feet.   Ignore stupid rude people; if you don’t then they will bring you down to their level.    Make sure your life is full of quality and not full of quantity.   If you’re going to make a foolish mistake, make it when you are young.         Watch out for your neighbors.  Never stop learning new things.  Make sure you have your friends back.   If someone doesn’t like your home—throw their ASS out!  First loves fade but never go away. True Love is forever; look at your mother and me.  She is more than I could have ever hoped or wished for.  She is certainly more than I ever deserved.  Live below your means.

 

  Jesse your eyes smile and they tell all your truest feelings.  You were given a kind, old soul, and it has given you a passion inside you that will take you far in life.   Share it with those you care about and do whatever will make you happy in life.  You have many skills, warrior, lover, and comedian, the warrior in you; if let you use it carefully will let you become anything that you choose to become.  The comedian will keep you from going crazy.   Those you chose to share your heart with will truly be blessed since it is something you will only show to a few.

 

Hope, you have not only been my “happy” thought but given the gift of being everyone’s “happy thought.”   Just by walking into a room your simple presence can make people smile and feel good.  Thrown in your laughter, smile and the bluest of eyes and the package are complete.    Those that don’t know you will soon be surprised by your passion, intelligence and determination.   You also possess the creativity of great artist as well as have the heart of a caretaker.  Your life and thirst for knowledge and adventure will take you many places where you will share your happiness.   Your mother and I thought we named you “Hope” but I believe that GOD already had your name picked before you were born.